What Does It Mean to Be a Dog (or Cat) Mom?

A look at the growing cultural, emotional, and biological parallels between parenting and pet ownership.

By: Hanna Mandelbaum

#Dogmom

Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and now the Saturday prior has been officially deemed Dog Mother’s Day. Like most hashtag holidays, Dog Mother’s Day started as a marketing initiative. This one was introduced by Dig—the now-defunct dating app for dog lovers. The holiday has long outlived Dig’s six-year run and will likely become a permanent fixture in American Hallmark holiday culture, much to the frustration of the “when are you going to have kids?” grandparental hopefuls everywhere.

As for the cat moms out there, there’s no dedicated Cat Mother’s Day. But April 19th is officially “Cat Lady Day,” and there are plenty of greeting cards to prove it.

While this may all seem a little silly to some, there are compelling sociological and biological reasons our relationships with companion animals have shifted from ownership to something that looks a lot more like parenthood.

Humanization of Pets

It’s impossible to open a trade journal in the pet food industry without running into the phrase “humanization of pets” or yet another take on the now-familiar trend of Millennials and Gen Zers trading babies for fur babies. Lately, that humanization has taken a starkly literal turn, thanks to an AI trend in which people use ChatGPT to generate images of what their pets would look like as humans.

According to the fascinating 2024 Harris State of Pets Poll, 43% of Americans say they prefer pets over children. A full 82% agree with the sentiment “My pet is like my own child,” and 55% believe pet parents deserve as much recognition as those raising actual humans. Think pieces about this cultural shift, usually served with a generous side of pearl clutching, seem to pop up weekly. And it’s not just a U.S. phenomenon—pet stroller sales in South Korea now outpace those for babies. With more people delaying or opting out of parenthood, pets are increasingly stepping into the role of surrogate children. Which might explain why you can now spend $850 on a luxury stroller built exclusively for your pet.

The Things We Do for Pets/Kids

Pet parents, like any parent, are willing to make sacrifices for their well-being—even hypothetical human ones. In the Harris Poll, 63% of pet owners say they would give years of their own life if it meant their pets could live longer.

Since that isn’t possible, they turn to more practical expressions of devotion: time, money, lifestyle changes, and an ever-expanding repertoire of wellness interventions. We see it in the explosion of better-for-them pet food, of course, but also in the embrace of human health trends like biomarker screening, microbiome support, supplements, physical therapy, anxiety treatments, and even custom pharmaceuticals. Add in doggy daycare, orthopedic beds, and pet insurance premiums, and it becomes clear: this isn’t just ownership—it’s a full-blown parenting model, just with more fur and fewer college funds.

It Goes Two Ways

This all begs the question: if we see our pets as children, do they see us as parents?

By some metrics, the parallels are hard to ignore. Psychological studies using the “strange situation” test, originally developed by Mary Ainsworth to assess attachment in human infants, have shown that both dogs and cats form emotional bonds strikingly similar to those of toddlers. They exhibit clear preferences for their caregivers, show distress when separated, and seek comfort when reunited.

While this may seem somewhat obvious with dogs, around 65 percent of cats, for example, demonstrate what researchers define as secure attachment, meaning they trust their person to return and help regulate their emotional state. Even more remarkably, the distribution of attachment styles in both species (secure, anxious, avoidant) practically mirrors that of humans.

Love Is the Drug

The parental-child bond isn’t just emotional—it’s chemical. Oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone,” surges during moments of connection: childbirth, breastfeeding, touch, and even simple eye contact between a parent and baby. This biological boost helps reinforce our bonds.

Research has shown that these same oxytocin-driven dynamics extend to our relationships with pets. Humans experience a measurable oxytocin boost when interacting with their animals, particularly during affectionate moments like petting, playing, or mutual gaze. But it’s not a one-way street. Studies have also shown that dogs, and to some extent, cats experience increased oxytocin levels when engaging with their humans.

Respecting the Species Line

While our relationships with pets can feel deeply parental, it’s worth remembering that “pet parent” is still just a turn of phrase—one that, for many, best describes our evolving relationship with companion animals. It’s also a bit of a polarizing one. Personally, I tend to think of my pets as companions, but I get why “pet parent” resonates with so many.

Dogs and cats aren’t furry humans. Treating them like human babies doesn’t honor the fact that they’re entirely different species with their own needs, instincts, and boundaries. Over-humanizing them can backfire, reinforcing problematic behaviors like separation anxiety or leash reactivity in dogs. Cats don’t necessarily want constant physical affection. And neither will have the chance to unpack our parental shortcomings in therapy later in life.

Loving our pets like family doesn’t mean treating them exactly like family. The healthiest relationships are the ones that honor the bond while respecting the differences.

What Being A Pet Parent Really Means

Pet parenthood means embracing the idea that our relationship with our pets extends far beyond an ownership role and sees them as part of our family unit. It’s about care, connection, and showing up every day for a creature who depends on you—whether you’re buying human-grade pet food, booking a pet photoshoot, or simply making sure they get their daily walk. Call it humanization, call it cultural shift, call it a side effect of late-stage capitalism.

Mother’s Day is a day when we express our appreciation for mothers whose time and energy in rearing us goes unappreciated. For our pets, Mother’s Day is every day and we can see it in the wagging of tails when we return home, the soft rumbling of purrs that accompanies head scratches. It’s a daily ritual of love: tucked inside squeaky toys, crinkled treat bags, scattered catnip, and the way we still spell out w-a-l-k like they haven’t figured it out.

Tell us how your version of pet parenting shows up in your daily life!

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